Rose-Coloured Thoughts

Hello there Beauties! It’s been too long. I’ve been in crisis. Life has been overwhelming, and I took time to recuperate.  I’ve spent a lot of time wondering which direction to take this blog in. It started as an ‘in’ into my thoughts: all the less-than-favourable or controversial opinions I had, especially about grief. I started writing it because I’ve always written, and it was a digital diary more or less. It was also an easy way to share thoughts that I didn’t want to share with others in fear of being too much or too toxic. All the breaks I’ve taken were due to my lack of consistency and, more recently, not having much to say. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and what I want out of it. I’ve always said my biggest fear is mediocrity, but in the same breath, I’m not doing anything particularly important or spectacular. I’ve spent the past few months thinking about the future, my ambitions (or lack thereof), and essentially, what the actual heck am I doing with my l...

Hello there Beauties! I hope you’re all having an amazing week. If where you are has seasons, and it’s Spring, I hope the weather puts a smile on your face. If not, I hope you’re at least having good weather. Being in France in the springtime is such a cool experience, as you slowly see the place flourish and life regains its colour. It’s so refreshing, honestly. Nothing beats the tropical sunshine in the islands though.  Anyway, I was thinking this week that even though I have grit and determination, I am a giver upper. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t take much for frustration to seep in, self-doubt to take over, and my mind to tell me that it’s time to throw in the towel. It’s not that I don’t want to see things through, it’s just that sometimes I feel as though the results will be disappointing, so why bother? Even though it is the unknown, past experiences have me believing that sometimes pushing though is just not worth it, as the results are often less than desirable.  T...

Hello there Beauties! I am on a journey to change the way I think, and, in turn, change my life. I started this series as a way to not only hold myself accountable but also to look back on my journey and smile. I love love love reading back all my posts. I am always so amazed at my brain, like "dang girl, you wrote that?" (Victor you actually did this?) Yes, ma'am, you are absolutely that girl! Period! Anyway, today's focus is on outside noise, and this one really hits close to home. Lately, I have been finding it so difficult to separate real life from the lives I see online. The funny thing is, it is not only social media, but it's also in the books I read and the media I consume. While it is fair to say comparison is the thief of joy, this is not the only problem I have. The internet is flooded with all these life hacks, motivational speeches (I hate motivational speeches, by the way), some random person giving some sort of advice, or content telling you that t...

Hello there Beauties! I know... I know... I have been slacking off on these blog posts even though I swore up and down I was gonna be consistent. To be fair, there are a lot of my passions/hobbies that I have completely slacked off on for the past six or so months as I have been in a constant loop of overwhelm and fatigue. However, that is no excuse, as I owe it to myself to show up regardless. Consistency has always been one of my shortcomings, so I guess that's on the list to explore in therapy when I finally have therapy money. I have the passion,  drive, and determination, but I just don't have the consistency. We are working on it my loves.  Anyway, here is a list of things I have been up to in the past month or so that I have been missing (I've clearly been in my Nara Smith and cooking era):  I made bread! (It was really good, kinda like a sourdough and harddough bread crossover) I made garlic butter (it coulda been better, but it scratched the perfect itch) I als...

Hello there Beauties! Do the thing that scares you. Looking back, if I could say anything to my younger self, I would tell her to do it scared. I don’t know why we tend to shy away from fear when it’s a natural, human emotion. Fear can be crippling, it can be overwhelming, and it can also be liberating. Many things can be true at once.  The first time I came to France, it was my first time travelling on my own. I didn’t even have the luxury of having anyone with me at the airport. The minute the Knutsford coach drove out of the Mandeville parking lot, I was bawling my eyes out. It didn’t help that I saw Lumsy waving at me from the ground. I cried all the way to Montego Bay. I tried not to talk to my boyfriend on the phone either because hearing his voice would’ve had me questioning whether I was brave enough. To top it all off, I was searched by police when I got to the airport, and the flight was delayed until the next day. There was so much going on, and I felt like these thing...

Hello there Beauties! It has been a very weird couple of days, but January has always been weird for me because it was January who took my precious Rose. January is the time that comes with all the feels, all the tears, all the despair, and all the straws that break the camel's back. Nevertheless, I am almost out of the funk, and I am doing my best to live out my days and not just survive them. This is the primary reason I don't set resolutions, because a couple of weeks in, I am already breaking all the promises to myself. At the start of the year, I set my focus word ( discipline ), and right now I feel like discipline is not enough. That being said, I am adding the word  intention. My goal is to not only be consistently disciplined in the actions I want to take or the moves I want to make, but also to be intentional. There are a lot of things I want to do for myself, and sometimes I allow my mind to trick me into thinking they are next to impossible. This year, though. I w...

Hello there Beauties! I’m seeing more and more each day just how weird the world is starting to become. Parasocial behaviour is at an all time high and it scares me just as much as it peeves me. Parasocial behaviour, if you don’t know, is the act of having one-sided relationships with others, typically celebrities or sports teams. In these types of relationships, one party is unaware of the other’s existence, but unbeknownst to them. In other words, it’s obsessing over someone that doesn’t know you but believing that they do. I see this so often, especially on social media, and it is quite jarring.  One type of weird parasocial behaviour that I see on the internet is people being off put by strangers breaking up/ separating/ getting divorced. Baby, you don’t know these people. Why are you so upset that they decided to call it quits? Two popular American social media couples announced that they were ending their relationship and the comments were full of “I have no hope left” and ...