Rewiring My Mind: Part Sixteen - Outside Noise

Hello there Beauties!

I am on a journey to change the way I think, and, in turn, change my life. I started this series as a way to not only hold myself accountable but also to look back on my journey and smile. I love love love reading back all my posts. I am always so amazed at my brain, like "dang girl, you wrote that?" (Victor you actually did this?) Yes, ma'am, you are absolutely that girl! Period!

Anyway, today's focus is on outside noise, and this one really hits close to home. Lately, I have been finding it so difficult to separate real life from the lives I see online. The funny thing is, it is not only social media, but it's also in the books I read and the media I consume. While it is fair to say comparison is the thief of joy, this is not the only problem I have. The internet is flooded with all these life hacks, motivational speeches (I hate motivational speeches, by the way), some random person giving some sort of advice, or content telling you that the way you do things is wrong, or if you are not doing x by y age, you are a failure. It's been the hardest thing in the world to categorise what is actually helpful or what is just outside noise. 

I have several thought pathways when it comes to this topic, so bear with me while I hash them out. 

1. A person who has not lived your life or lived your specific experiences cannot and should not make you feel like how you handle yourself is not the 'right way.' Also, don't you think it's crazy to live your life based on the advice of people who don't know you?  This is not to say that we shouldn't accept advice or seek counsel; it just means that your life is yours. You shouldn't allow other people to steer you off your personal journey just because they think they know what is best for you. Life is best lived not only by making mistakes, but also with the beauty of learning and growing from them. Someone else can never and will never be able to live your life for you. So, ignore the outside noise, take all advice with a grain of salt, pick out the wisdom from everything, and then make your own choices. 

2. I have always said that life is not always black and white; there is always a gray area. TikTok fluffers like to throw the word 'nuance' around for funsies, but life has to be viewed through a lens that acknowledges nuance. For those who don't know and won't Google: 

nuance (noun) 

nuː.ɑːns/

a very slight difference in appearance, meaning, sound, etc.

a quality of something that is not easy to notice but may be important

In layman's terms, nuance is acknowledging that a gray area exists. Why bring this up? Well, the internet has a way of making people feel like it's either this or that, no in-betweens. I would like to say, and pardon my language, bullsh*t. There are no two people on this planet who are living an identical life. Out of almost 8 billion people, your life is unique to you. So, please consider the gray area. It is okay if by 25 you are still living at home. It's okay if you have not bought your first car. It's okay if you are not travelling the world and buying designer items. Small secret: I've only ever owned two semi-designer items. One was a Jessica Simpson perfume, and the other was an Anne Klein watch. I say this all to say, because I feel like I am rambling, that it's not only between rich or poor, or broke, or rich, consider the gray areas: planning, trying, doing, moving. Do life at your own pace, on your own timeline, with the resources you have. Ignore the outside noise, and don't go broke or crazy trying to impress a nonexistent audience. 

3. Stop measuring your worth based on the fake reality that the internet presents to us. All these life coaches, gurus, motivational speakers, and influencers are putting on a performance for the internet. What they are sharing is maybe 1 hour out of the 24. The lights do turn off, the tripod is compact again, the script is over and done with, and they are back to regular programming. Please try to be your authentic self and not pretend for strangers. We see so much 'perfection' online that our real selves seem to not measure up. You are amazing just the way you are: even with the back rolls, the hip dips, the crooked teeth, the acne, the belly fat, the flabby skin, the natural hair, the chubby cheeks, all of it. You do not need to change yourself to fit into whatever mold society has carved out for you. If you wanna make that choice for you, then pop off babes. Also, if you are not on the exact timeline that these life coaches present, then that is okay. Please, try not to pressure yourself. Ignore the outside noise, and remember that your worth comes from the Lord, and if you don't believe in the Lord, then your worth comes from the innermost beautiful parts of your soul.

This is an honourable mention, because why am I reading books or watching videos, and it all appears so much more fiction-y than usual? Who is coming to save me? Where is my inheritance from a long-lost family member that I didn't know existed? Why am I not randomly in a taxi beside the CEO of a company, whom I am nice to (because I am nice, duh), and they end up offering me a job? What do you mean we are age mates and you have a house and I am on my childhood bed that I've had since Jesus was a boy? Free me, please. 

Guys, please. Let us all detox when we feel like we are spiralling out of control. If possible, and if you are able, take some time this week to go out into nature and touch grass. Take a walk. Please stop listening to the outside noise and live life for yourself. Show up as yourself. 
 

QOTD: How do you separate outside noise from helpful advice? 

Love from all ends, 

Bella