Friends or Associates?

 Hello there Beauties! 

Today is the start of a new week. I pray this week will be good for everyone. 

Let's talk about friendship. More particularly, how to make friends in college. My advice to you is: DON'T. Before you all get your arguments to attack me with, I am definitely not saying you should go to college and talk to no one, or form relationships with no one. No, that's absolutely not the case. Forming relationships is essential to a good, healthy and fun college experience. The question is, how do you differentiate a friend from a colleague or associate, and where do you draw the line? 

It was just last night that I remembered an experience I had when I started college last October. I live on an unnamed campus in Kingston, and it has been rather interesting. I had not come to college with the intention of making friends, or with the intention of living the glamorous college experience. In all honesty, I wanted to stay home, complete my classes online and stay within my comfort zone. It so happened that, as a result of COVID-19, school took a blended modality approach to offering courses and I was flung into the campus lifestyle. I shared space with three other lovely girls who somewhat made being away from home less stressful. We all got along surprisingly well (I say surprisingly because I really have no luck with people, and quite frankly, I had no great expectations). However, as time went on, that changed and things became tense with one of the girls and myself. As sticky as that situation became, it did not surprise me, because, as I said, I literally have no luck with people. 

Needless to say, it bothered me. We had formed a good relationship and a change in the dynamic was a bit shocking. That happened months ago and I still cannot comment on what exactly happened because I do not know. I am not a confrontational person, and since I am not the one who made things tense, I honestly do not think I should have confronted the situation. I mean, we are all adults who were sharing a space, so I had expected her to come forward and say what happened so we could settle whatever it as like adults, That did not happen and we no longer live together.

I also find that, since I have been boarding, the relationships I form with the people I share space with, is different from the relationships I form with my classmates. Let me explain. Both can make or break the college experience: one more on the academic side, and the other on the personal side. If they happen to intertwine, that can be awfully detrimental. But how do you know when to say friend, or when to say associate or colleague? That is super tricky. One is more transactional and one is more personal. Both can be transactional as well as personal. How do you differentiate? I cannot tell you how to answer these questions, but I can tell you to be vigilant either way. At the end of it all, everybody is vying for a degree, everybody can double cross you and everybody has the potential to make your experience the best or the worst. 

Do not be too trusting, or too standoffish. Find your balance and make it work for you. They say the friends you make in college will be your friends for life, but I disagree. I will say though, that the relationships you form will be some very important relationships as you go into the world of work. 

College is meant to be equally fun and educational. Choose the people in your space wisely. 

And if you happen to read this, answer this question:

QOTD: Have you made friends in college?