Rewiring My Mind: Part Four - Self-Reflection

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Hello there Beauties! 

I am on a journey of rewriting my mind to change how I think. A lot of my internal issues stem from my mind, and it has affected my life unbearably. At the end of this journey, I want to sit with myself and be able to appreciate myself and my story 100% without guilt. 

This week, I’m focusing on self-reflection. Again, I refer to Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain is You as I’m reading it. She mentions that “In an effort to “love ourselves,” we try to validate everything about who we are.” That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have always felt like I could love all the parts of me that I considered beautiful (literally and figuratively) and hate all the parts of me that were ugly (literally and figuratively) simultaneously. The problem with that mindset is that the more I fit things under each category, the less I love myself. 

In that same train of thought, I haven’t been able to look back on my mistakes or shortcomings and forgive myself, because I feel like I don’t deserve it. Also, I have gotten better at analyzing past and present relationships in my life, their issues, and how much I contribute to those issues. In other words, instead of playing victim, how much of these issues am I accountable for? How can I be a better person to avoid/prevent these issues in the future? I saw this quote that really stood out to me from a creator called Quinlan Walther on TikTok. She said, “The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth that they can accept without running away.” I sat with myself this week, and this is what I learned:

My shortcomings are a part of who I am, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to improve or eliminate those shortcomings. Self-reflection causes me to sit with myself: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It put me into a reflective mindset, which leads to a growth mindset. How did I mess up in the past, and how can those mistakes lead me to become better? I have committed to doing one of these Self-Reflective Journal prompts from this company called, “We’re Not Really Strangers.” 

I am hopeful to emerge from this as a better person. Growth is not linear, so I take it one day at a time. 

QOTD: How much truth about yourself can you sit with before you feel like you can’t handle anymore?  I start feeling hopeless when I admit to myself that my wasted potential is due to my disbelief in my abilities to do big things. 

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