Mother's Day Blues

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Hello there Beauties! 

I missed last week's post and have been really bummed about it. I also have been very overwhelmed. I’m in the habit of honesty and authenticity, no matter how it sounds, and honestly, I’ve been struggling these past few weeks. At the moment, I didn’t even realize what was triggering me. Anyway, let’s get into it. 


I can identify two major events happening: 

  • I am in a season of my life where I find myself falling back into destructive habits and thoughts. I am stuck in a constant cycle of not doing enough (by my twisted standards) and doing way too much. I don’t know if anyone realises just how stressful this can be. It has led to me feeling very overwhelmed, and in a hurry to “get it together” because life is moving so fast. 

The trigger: My 23rd birthday is fast approaching, and I feel like I’m getting older and still not progressing as I’d hoped.

The feelings: Overwhelm, disappointment, anxiety, and stress. 

The outcome: Hypersomnia and insomnia simultaneously, anxious thoughts, overeating and undereating simultaneously, lazy days and over-productive days simultaneously, and burnout. 

The message: Beloushii, slow down. Take a breath. 


  • My grief is spilling everywhere and into everything. I find myself being so annoyed and jealous of people celebrating their moms while I don’t have one to celebrate. I find myself thinking about all the major events and milestones my mom misses out on, and I’m angry that I didn’t have more time with her. It’s giving… depressed. 

The trigger: Mother’s Day is in 2 weeks and it is EVERYWHERE. I scroll on TikTok or Instagram for 2 minutes and there’s an ad or a mention, and it’s overwhelming. 

The feelings: Depression, anger, nostalgia, annoyance, and loneliness. 

The outcome: lashing out, withdrawal from my friends, random bursts of sadness in everything. 

The message: Take a step back, and get these feelings out. 


Nothing is more frustrating than breaking down my feelings like this (nice 4-step prompt: TFOM -  trigger, feelings, outcome, message) and not knowing how to deal with them. It's hard putting feelings into words (poetry) and simple journalling doesn't provide the escape I want because I already have the words in my head. 


I’ve trained myself for years to keep things in until I discovered my voice and an escape in poetry. However, I haven’t been able to write anything in months, and that’s a part of my frustrations. I don’t have an outlet, so it feels like just a lot of feelings bubbling up inside me with no way out. Hence, the spilling. I have also realised that there's anger surfacing, and I have never been angry at anyone but myself, so that's a new feeling. I need to find a way to release these feelings so they don't end up being destructive. 


QOTD: How do y'all let out these feelings that threaten to take over your life? Real suggestions, please. Either comment or message me on Social Media. 



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