Rewiring My Mind: Part Nine - Inconsistency and Self-Doubt

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Hello there Beauties!

I have always always shied away from doing anything and blamed it on being inconsistent. I’d tell myself, I can write a book, but would I finish it? Probably not. 

I think my inconsistency comes from a lack of high self-esteem and is fed constantly by my anxiety, overthinking, and my self doubt. It’s deeply rooted in the fact that I try not to put myself out there, try new things, or even push myself past my limit because of the fear that things may not work out. I’ve realised that even if I do try, I stop halfway just to say I’ve tried, and then blame not finishing on being inconsistent. 

For a real-life example, I’ve been wanting to work out for the longest time. I’ve saved tons of easy workouts to do at home, and I’ve mapped it out countless times in my head. Every month, I decide that this is the month that I’ll start. I make a plan, I adopt the correct mindset, and I start. For the first couple of days, I actually do it. But then, it’s like my mind reminds me that I’m inconsistent and then I just stop. Random thoughts pop in my head like, “Remember you’re not really fat,” or “You can always start again next month,” or “I don’t know why you think you can be a workout girly; stuck to the evil you know.”

I won’t lie, these thoughts win every single time. I’ll see a job or an opportunity that looks/sounds good, and start working on the application, and then halfway through I think to myself, “Why do you think you would even get this?” and just like that the confidence I had to begin with dwindles away. 

Now imagine if all those thoughts were re-constructed or reframed. Imagine if instead, I just tried with the mindset of “If it happens it happens, at least I tried.” Oh, the endless possibilities! Oh how interesting life would be. Oh how ‘glass half full’ life would appear. 

I have tried adopting that mindset for the last couple of months, just try Bella, you may never know. I can’t talk too much about it, but I’ve landed an amazing opportunity by just putting myself out there and completing the application. Mind you, I still didn’t believe it was even remotely possible even after the interview. I think I like this little life. I’ll provide more info as soon as I can. 

Just believe in yourself. You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. 

 QOTD: Are you a glass half full, or glass half empty kinda person?

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