Rewiring My Mind: Part Eleven - Consideration Is The Highest Form Of Love

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Hello there Beauties!

I hope you all have been having a wonderful week. If you have never read my posts in this series before, I invite you to do so. I am on a journey to reshape my thinking and change my life. In previous posts, I have discussed my journey with myself and how hard it has been to navigate (you can read all the posts in the series: Rewiring My Mind). Scrolling through, I realized I am yet to talk about self-love in great detail. This topic is tricky because it forces me to lay myself bare and show unfiltered vulnerability. 'Why', you may wonder. The simple answer is, 'I have never considered myself worthy of love.' 

Let's get into it. 

Someone wise once said, "Consideration is the highest form of love." What does this mean? TinyBuddaOffical in an Instagram post explained it best. "The highest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you. (Kira J)" In other words, it's listening to, observing, and fueling all the parts of you that matter. It involves listening for words said and unsaid; looking out for actions done and undone; and understanding feelings realized and unrealized. It also demands pouring into, supporting, and fueling you when you need it most. 

💡Time to think: Have I been showing myself the highest form of love through consideration? 

Over the years, I have realized that I haven't considered myself at all. For years I have accepted subpar, half-ass, and wayward treatment because I did not know I deserved better, and I did not think I deserved better. In his book, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This could not be a truer statement. We set our standards based on what we think we are worth. We let things slide when we do not believe we have the propensity to demand better. It's sad, but it's true. I have lived the majority of my life not treating myself like I deserve anything good, and that has manifested itself in more ways than I care to admit. 

Let's backtrack a little. 

Self-love is having an appreciation, affection, and good esteem for oneself. It is directly linked to self-esteem and self-compassion. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you recognize your own worth and treat yourself lovingly (Cooks-Campbell, 2024). 

Can all of this be achieved by simply considering myself as I go about my everyday life? I think so.

💡Time to ask myself, How are you going to achieve this? 

Let's cook up a quick fix: 

  • Questions to ask myself as I try to achieve self-consideration on the road to self-love:
    • Is this serving me? Will it add joy or pain to my life?
    • Does this add to or subtract from my value/worth? Does this devalue me?
    • Is this being done in my best interest? Is this what's best for me right now?
    • Does this positively or negatively contribute to how I feel about myself? 
    • Am I thinking about myself, or am I just trying to please others? 
    • Is this up to the standard I would set for someone else who I love dearly? 
  • As you see above, I have highlighted words spelling the acronym SWIFTS:
    • Service
    • Worthiness
    • Interest
    • Feelings
    • Thought
    • Standards
I think this is good enough to get me started on my journey. As I've always shared, I am still struggling with the topics I post about, and I am still on these journeys. I have yet to reach the destinations I seek as I have to unlearn and relearn many things that I have spent 23 whole years learning about myself and the world. If it were easy, I'd be a guru, lol. I am learning to give myself grace and not be hard on myself even though I have to be hard on myself because the world has not been easy on me. Nevertheless, we move forward. 

Best wishes for the week ahead. 

Love from all ends, 
Bella. 

QOTD: How are you practicing self-love this week? 

Comments

  1. Tywana10 November 2024 at 20:04

    I’ve been practicing self-love by allowing myself periods of isolation whenever I feel down. Sometimes, I think the only way to fully understand and work through certain challenges is to face them on my own. Although I’m grateful for the love and support of my circle, I've realized that there are moments when true growth requires a personal, inner dialogue.

    I find that sitting with myself—reflecting on my feelings and understanding the root of my emotions—is essential to overcoming some of my problems. Lol, well atleast the easy ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bella Levy11 November 2024 at 06:36

      Yk what? So real. Sometimes only you can replenish what was lost anyway.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous11 November 2024 at 06:21

    Thank you for sharing this post. I really enjoy reading it, and I do need to start re-wiring my mind too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bella Levy11 November 2024 at 06:38

      Thank you so much. There's no good health without good mental health.

      Delete
  3. Guy11 November 2024 at 06:51

    I'm practicing self-love by getting into a few new habits ( even though I'm not the most consistent lol). Practicing mindfulness and gratitude while meditating for at least a minute. Trying to get back into the habitt of journaling as well. Sometimes you have to allow your mind to wonder for a bit and bring it back to the present. Finally, treat yourself with respect and set boundaries man... That's a start. Love❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bella Levy11 November 2024 at 07:10

      I love that so much! I need to start getting into gratitude journalling myself.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous11 November 2024 at 06:52

    I'm practicing self love by getting myself some kfc and then perhaps getting my nails done as well

    ReplyDelete

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