Rewiring My Mind: Part Twelve - Words Are Things, Let Them Be Good
Everyday last week, I listened to an episode of Justin Frett’s “Don’t Frett” podcast on my way to work. It’s a really good listen, and I would recommend that everyone give it a listen. He mentions he has the gift of gab, and he really does. He has a way with words, and there’s power in what he says.
In one episode, he talks about the power of words, and their impact upon use. This episode resonated with me because I’ve always had an affinity with words. They flow through me and stick to all the places that hurt. They could build me up faster than any character-building action could. This brings me to a Maya Angelou quote that he shared.
She said, “Words are things. You must be careful, careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don’t do that. Some day we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you.”
I grew up hearing, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me.” It didn’t take long to realize the fictitiousness of that statement, as no stick or stone could ever hurt worse than being told by my best friend (at the time) that “[I was] like cancer, the worst thing to ever happen to a person.” You could hit me over the head with a rock and I’d wake up in the hospital in less pain than I was in when I heard that. That happened almost ten years ago yet I can still quote it, it still flows through me, it still hurts, it still stuck to parts of me that I have yet to heal.
I say all this to say we ought to be very careful about how we speak to and about ourselves. When we say negative things to belittle, underestimate, undervalue, condemn, criticize, or bash ourselves, we make declarations that flow through us and stick. I believe it was René Descartes who claimed, “I think, therefore I am.” Seeking outside validation when I can start with myself is wild. It should add to what I already believe myself to be.
Therefore, one of my goals for this year is to stop talking down on myself even as a joke. I need to speak life into me, into my dreams, into my future. Just like those negative words have flowed through me and stuck, I want to plant new seeds. Positive seeds. Seeds of hope. Seeds of love. Seeds of abundance. Seeds of joy. Seeds of brilliance.
This year will be a year of learning for me on many levels. Stephen Chbosky said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” For 2025, I’m only claiming the love I deserve: unwavering, unfiltered, unadulterated, genuine, peaceful, worthy, hopeless. But first, I must love myself in that way. After all, I’m her. I’m that girl. I deserve nothing less than the best.
QOTD: Do you agree with Maya Angelou that words are things? Why/why not?
Love from all ends,
Bella
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